‘Be a guardian to your child when he is eight;
Be a teacher to your child when he is twelve;
Be a friend to your child when he is eighteen!’
Does your child fear your existence or presence in the room?
Are you happy with the ‘fear’ you see in the eyes of your twenty year old daughter?
Do you think you have earned ‘respect’ in life, when your son does everything according to ‘your’ wish and nothing according to what he wants in his life?
If you think you have been a wonderful parent by creating a fear in the heart of your child, congratulations; you just lost the race! Being a parent is a blessing; there are hundreds of parents that visit mosques, temples and churches, just for the sake of having babies; there are thousands of parents that stand in queues to treat their children and help them survive; there are millions of parents that work harder and hard, just for the sake of building the right kinds of careers for their kids.
In simple words, giving birth to a child does not make you a parent; raising him or her in the correct manner is what makes you a good father or mother. There are so many step-parents, who have raised the best kids out of their step-children; biologically being a mother or father to someone does not make you a parent.
So what do you need to do to be a good parent? The best thing is to raise your child by creating a never-ending friendly bond with him. No doubt you need to be strict when your child is a little kid, but once he reaches the age of 15 or 16, it is time for you to blend your nature with him. Slowly and gradually, just when he reaches the age of 18, you should be one of his best friends. He will have his own group of peers, he will have his own group of colleagues, he will also have his girlfriend, but you need to create such an image on his mind that he should never ever replace you by anyone; by being a friend, you become irreplaceable in his life.
Here are the top five benefits of being a friend to your child, rather than raising him up as a parent:
- Even if your child does something wrong in his life, he should come and openly share it with you; this way, you can guide him and teach him some of the things that you have learn from your life.
- Being a friend to your child allows you to know more about him as a person; there are some things that the sons and daughters find difficult to share with their ‘overly religious’ or ‘overly strict’ parents. For an instance, bisexualism is found a lot these days; if you don’t want to spoil the life of your son or daughter and the life of his or her future partner, it is better for you to be a friend to him or her. This way, your child would always turn up and tell you the truth.
- When you are a friend to your child, he knows that you are always there for him.
- Your child grows out to be a better person in future, for he knows you are always by his side for him.
- Treating your child as a friend allows him to grow as a better parent in future, since he holds the same humble attitude towards his children.