Dear Working Mother,
Hi! I understand that every day you get up and wrestle with constant guilt for not being there with your children. Let me tell you that there is absolutely no need to be guilty and trust me you are doing a great job. Your kids will be just fine and they will grow up as amazing human beings.
Well, how do I know this? I am a child of a working mother who constantly thought that she never gave her family enough time because, she had to manage her career and learn new things every day. Every time my mother returned from the school, she would rush to the kitchen thinking feeling guilty of not cooking the meal, but just serving it to me and my sister. My mother had this fear that we are not concentrating enough in our studies because she does not sit with us to complete our home works.
Look at us now.
I am a dentist and my sister is a topper of her engineering batch. So, I guess we are doing just fine. So, here are a few things you need to know.
Remember, you get one life for yourself and make the most of it. You worked really hard for almost twenty years of your life to build a career, don’t let it go because you had kids. Kids will grow up, there may be some head winds, but it will pass. Once your kids are teens, they would not like you to interfere much in their lives. What will you do then, if you do not have a career?
Here, are some of the tips that will help you to focus on things that really matter. Your kids know that you love them and will always do. Research shows that ‘‘A working mother can establish just as warm and secure a relationship with her children as a mother who does not work.’’
- Accept the trade off: Make a list of reasons why you want to work. When you combine motherhood with career there will always be trade offs. Be crystal clear about the reasons that made you work at the first place- it can be money,satisfaction, passion anything. Know the reason why and tell your family that, it is good that you have a career outside the home.
- Don’t doubt yourself: There will be many times when people will comment on you and your lifestyle decisions, let it pass. It is ok if, you miss a few games or parent teacher meets of you kid. They will be just fine . Don’t let others decide, what is a good parent is like? You don’t have to be parental police all you need to do is what suits you and your kids the best.
- Lower the bar: It is not necessary that you have to be perfect in whatever you do. We all are humans, we make mistakes and we learn from them.
So, my dear working mom take it easy on yourself. Your kid will thank you when he/she grows up because they will know you chose yourself and them together. You fought to keep things moving and everytime. Like I said,your kids will always know that you love them.
Daughter of a working Mother.