The day her name got prefixed with the three letter magical word “MRS”, her life took a magical turnabout. On spur of a moment, her priorities, her challenges, her expectations and the substantial reality all underwent an ostensible shift. But do not surmise that all this and more are synonymous to the love deficient and draconian attitude of the other party (husband and in-laws). Because in most cases, this shift is embraced by the girl with open arms and considered to be “normal”.
Marriage is an amalgamation and merger of two unique souls where “in general” a woman is expected to become the manager of internal organizational structure and man is expected to take over the external and financial control. And if in case, the role swapping takes place, uncountable eyes and ears will stand taller than the body they are part of.
Be it a corporate woman or a homemaker, the baggage of new roles and responsibilities after marriage do bring in upheaval change in her life. But how these changes are to be dealt, depends entirely on her.
“Don’t chase people. Be an example.
Attract them. Work hard and be yourself.
The people that belong in your life will come find you and stay.
Just do your thing.”
When you as a newlywed are introduced to a new culture a new structure, do the honor of putting forward your pre existent roles and preferences too. And spell out that it is no barter but insurance of past and present for a happily secured future.
Compromise should be mutual and not just a combat of unchanged female will power for unconditional love and respect from new family. Don’t portray yourself as a warrior of a battlefield when you can be one amongst the family of soldiers.
I am a female but not a feminist. What I share here is not advocacy of feminism but the ostensible shift in the life and priorities of a woman after marriage. As the woman walks down the aisle of marriage, so does her preferences. But no single gender or group or community or individual can be blamed for this archetype shift.